The One Who Saved Me
by SweetGoldStar
Summary: Extension of 4x09 The Con-Man in the Meth Lab. Booth & Brennan continue their conversation outside in the bus stop. Brennan wants to help Booth deal with his past so she encourages him to share his life story. B&B implied.


**Hello everyone! **

**New story here! It's a continuation of 'The Con-Man in the Meth Lab', so beware there are spoilers for 4x09 in here.**

**To freshen up your memories: it's the first episode with Jared in it, which ends with a celebration of Booth's Birthday, well sort of...**

**I want to warn you all that there is a lot of mention of abuse in this story, it's not at all my usual fluff.**

**So if you don't feel like reading that can't of stuff right now, or if you just can't handle that kind of thing, please turn back now.**

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own anything that is even remotely associated with Bones. All credit goes to FOX and Hart Hanson.

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><p>She sat down next to him in the bus stop, wondering what she was supposed to say now, wondering if he was still mad.<p>

"I brought cake", she tried and was relieved to see a smile crossing his features.

He picked up a fork and scooped up a spoonful of the fluffy substance.

"My dad drank."

She was silent for a minute.

"I'm sorry, Booth."

He nodded. "Me too."

She looked at him, trying to figure out what she should do. She wanted to help him, but these things weren't really her strong suit.

In the end she decided to approach this the way she always does, blunt and honest.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'll be fine, Bones."

"That's not what I asked."

She looked at him pointedly and refused to look away. He sighed as he returned his gaze back to the plate resting on her legs.

"Look I just...it might help, Booth. _I_ want to help. You were always there when I had family issues, I want to repay the favour. You're the one who always told me that bottling things up is unhealthy, that it's okay to let people in sometimes. I want you to let me in, Booth."

She fought to find his gaze and keep it. The earnest and care he saw in her eyes touched him to the core.

He knew what this meant for her. He knew because he'd been there. He'd seen her struggling and had wanted nothing more than for her to open up, to be able to share her pain and help her through, to not feel useless.

He couldn't deny her because he knew how desperate he'd always been himself to know all of her, to be told her life story.

"I don't even know where to begin."

She closed her eyes a second in relief before turning back to look at him, her calmness and trustworthiness putting him at ease.

"How about the beginning?"

He nodded, gathering his thoughts. He thought back to when he was little, Brennan watched his face as he went right back there. She watched his faraway look and almost recoiled as she saw fear cross his eyes.

"It's been going on for as long as I can remember. My mom…sometimes when she was feeling sad, a bit nostalgic I suppose, she would tell me that he didn't used to be that way before…before I was born. Just hearing that always made the idea that it was all my fault stronger."

Instantly she felt the need to comfort him, but she knew that she had to let him finish. She knew how hard it was to tell a story such as this one, she knew from experience that the courage it takes melts right away if interrupted.

So she settles for lightly covering his hand with her own.

"Anyway they got into financial trouble soon after and it just went South I guess… He started yelling at my mom and it didn't take long for him to get physical as well. Those first years I was relatively safe, but after Jared was born…"

He shook his head somberly, replaying it all in his head. Brennan watched, every now and then stroking her thumb along his hand reassuringly.

"I was about 5 and I started to become aware of things and I just saw my mother holding that tiny baby whose big brother I was supposed to be and I just didn't understand why my dad would do that. So sometimes I'd just start crying and ask him…ask him why. I was his next victim.

It just got worse when Jared got older. Dad lost his job and had to do something else that earned him little money, money of which most went to alcohol anyway. And Jared was a child, a very active one so he messed up every now and then but I took the blame because he was just a kid trying to have fun and he didn't understand, he just didn't.

I was about 12 when she left. Some days I'd go to the library after school to study because I wanted to do better, you know. Work hard so I could make things better for my family some day. I tried my best at sports, hoping that one day I'd become famous and make money but I tried to do my studying as well. And some evenings I'd also do some chores, to get some extra money. My mom was working too, she had to, dad spent much more money than we had, but she tried to give us everything we needed anyway.

Sometimes I got home pretty late because of the library, sports or chores and it was always one out of two things: either my dad was still in full rage mode or everything was quiet because my dad was out on the couch and mom and Jared already went to bed and the house would be a complete mess.

I'd go to my mom's room with our first-aid kid and help her take care of her wounds if necessary. And every time I went to our bedroom, Jared would still be awake, hiding under his bed. He just wouldn't go to sleep before I was there.

I knew mom would have to clean everything up early in the morning, before dad woke up. I always put my alarm on 5AM to be up before her and sneak into her room to turn hers off. I'd get dressed, clean the house and make breakfast before waking up Jared and helping him get ready. Usually mom would wake up by the time Jared and I were ready to leave for school. She never said anything, but every time I'd walk past her and she'd look at me, always that same look…"

Brennan marveled at this man, how incredibly selfless and caring he was. Once again she realised how lucky she was to have such a wonderful man in her life, how lucky his mom and brother had been to have him. She wondered if they'd ever realised that.

"Until one day it just didn't happen. I thought it was weird that it was that day of all days, because the night before had been relatively calm. Dad had had some bad news at work and was so drunk when he got home that he practically fell asleep before he even made it to the couch.

I woke up in the morning and she wasn't there. I just thought she was out to do something, that it wasn't a big deal. I just told Jared that she was still sleeping and we left for school. That day I didn't do anything after classes, I just went straight home with Jared to make sure she was there, but she wasn't. I tried to make sure that Jared didn't worry, but I was very worried myself.

When dad came home later that night, relatively sober, I asked him. He took off with high speed, barging into every room and when he didn't find her, he was just…livid. I told Jared to go to our room and lock the door, as I always did and had what was coming to me.

After a few days, Jared wasn't buying my excuses anymore. I'd figured out by then that she'd left, she'd finally had enough. My faith in my mom, in her love for me, us… it was fading. I understood she wanted to leave, but I thought that because she didn't take us… Even today I just… the feeling's still double you know. I understand why she left, I can't be mad at her for it, but just leaving us there…"

Brennan didn't understand how a mother could do such a thing, leaving her kids in the hands of such a father, making them feel as if they are not important or loved enough to protect.

"The worst part was telling Jared. He was only 7 and his mommy… she had always been his rock, you know. He clung to mom like a lifeline and then… How was I supposed to explain to a 7-year-old why his mom left? That it wasn't his fault? I didn't even understand it myself."

Temperance imagined a young Seeley trying to tell his little brother why his mother was gone. Her eyes glossed as she thought about how helpless he must have felt.

Booth shook his head, trying to clear the vivid memory and shake the feeling it brought with it. He fought desperately not to cry, but couldn't stop a single tear from working its way down his cheek.

"He refused to leave my side for days. Especially since dad got even worse after that. He didn't go to work anymore, at all. He just drank and sat at a bar all day, waiting for a reason to let his anger out on us.

It was hardly a month later when he brought home this girl, so much younger than him. We were shocked at first, Jared didn't want to accept her in our house, but I had to keep him calm for both of our sakes.

When I thought about it, I figured it might be a good thing. I hoped that maybe she'd calm him down a little again.

But she was… She just continued reading her magazine while dad was hitting me, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. She was just as bad as him."

Brennan felt horrified as she heard about it. How could anyone just sit and watch while a child is being abused? She knew how bad people could be, experience taught her that some people were monsters, but still it eluded her how some people could be so evil.

"And then one Wednesday afternoon, a couple months later, when Jared was staying at a friend's place and dad was in the pub, she…she came into my room. I…I was sitting on my bed, studying. She…she took the book out of my hands, placed it on my desk and sat next to me on the bed. I looked at her, expectantly and then she smiled this… smile that I just couldn't place and she laid her hand on my knee…"

She stiffened as his breath caught in his throat and he looked the other way. He'd been staring ahead of himself the whole time, only glancing at her every now and then, but now he turned his head away completely so she couldn't see the tears streaming down his face.

Her blood boiled and a blind panic took over her as she thought about what probably came next.

"She raped you?" She didn't recognise her own voice as she spluttered out the question.

He just nodded, letting his head hang even lower.

"She err…if I didn't do it, she'd have to go 'play' with Jared. I… I didn't know what else to do."

Even though she was adamant at first that she wouldn't interrupt him, she couldn't possibly let this turned to him, a hand on his shoulder, willing him to turn and look at her.

When he continued to look the other way, she pleaded with him in a loving tone. "Booth, look at me."

He took a deep breath and turned around slowly. When his eyes locked with hers, she gasped at what she saw in them. All the pain, loss, confusion, fear that he must have felt as a little boy.

His eyes at always been very telling, but never had they betrayed so much raw emotion.

Temperance couldn't stop the tears as she realised that nobody was there for that scared little boy, no one or nothing to comfort him.

She felt an incredible anger towards the people he had in his life back then, most of all his mother for not taking care of him the way he deserved.

But most of all she felt determined to never make him feel that way again, to take care of him, to comfort him.

A shaking hand slowly made its way to his face, gently brushing away some of the tears. Her eyes were fixed on her hand brushing his cheek. Then she looked up to his eyes again, they were closed.

Her hand stilled, waiting for him to open his eyes. When he finally did, her eyes pleaded him to continue, to finish the story, to let her in completely.

With a deep breath, he thought back to where he had ended and with her hand now firmly clasped in his own, he found the strength to go on.

"For 6 months she'd come to my room like that when we were alone or take me to her room when Jared was sleeping.

And then one Saturday afternoon, dad came home unexpected and he…caught us and he was just…out of his mind. He yelled at her that she had to keep her hands off of his son, that she was a sick person…he threw her out. I was crying so badly, even though I knew, I KNEW, not to do that around dad. But that time, he…he actually held me and tried to soothe me.

He actually sobered up after that, we had some fun moments together. It lasted about two weeks. Just when we were starting to believe that things would get better…"

Brennan's heart sank as she listened to him. She thought about the two boys, finally daring to hope that things were about to change, only to have their hopes crushed once more.

She knew what it felt like, she lost count of how many times she'd been in the exact same position and she wished with all her heart that Booth never would've felt that way.

"It started all over again and things were just as bad as after mom left. I was at a loss of it. I was trying to keep Jared out of the frontline, but I also wanted to focus on my studies and sports, had to work. I just…I couldn't be everywhere at the same time.

I was losing it, but I knew I had to be strong for Jared. And then one night, it was exactly three months before my thirteenth birthday, he totally lost it. I still don't what exactly triggered him that specific night, but I saw it right when he entered the house. I immediately told Jared to go to his room and not open the door before I said so.

He had never beaten me like that before and it just didn't stop. I remember thinking that I was going to die, that he wouldn't stop before…

And then all of a sudden I heard Pops' voice. I was so far gone by the time that it hardly registered but it all stopped, dad was being pulled off of me. I heard yelling but it was hard to understand, I was on the verge of unconsciousness.

I remember Pops talking to me, I tried to tell him to get Jared because he must be frightened before everything went black."

"Why didn't he do anything sooner?"

She didn't comprehend why Hank would've waited this long, it must have been obvious for a long time that things were not right. Admittedly abused children became good at hiding bruises, making up excuses. After all she had become an expert at it herself. But she couldn't believe that Hank wouldn't have noticed for all these years.

"Around the time Jared turned one, my grandmother got ill. The doctors didn't know what it was. Eventually they went to some hospital, I'm not he sure where it was anymore, somewhere farther up North, and they stayed there for a long time. We hardly ever saw there.

They did figure out what was wrong with her and started a treatment. It took years for her to get back to her full health but she did.

After that Pops decided to take her travelling. She always wanted to see the world and so far she hadn't left the States much.

They'd gotten a bit of a wake-up call, you know, realised life is short. They moved back when they heard about Mom.

I think Pops became suspicious rather quickly, but he never really knew how bad it was. He knew dad liked to get his point across in a rather physical way sometimes but he never knew the extent of the situation until that night."

She nodded and stimulated him once more to continue.

"I woke up in the hospital four days later in a hell of a lot of pain. I had to stay there for another 3 weeks. Pops could hardly get Jared to leave the hospital, he was…terrified. Even though dad was gone. He sent him to a therapist, I got counseling too but I never said… I've never talked about it, to anyone.

It took me months to recover. My 13th birthday had come up and my grandparents tried to make something of it but… I was just not ready for that.

Pops and Grams did everything to make us feel loved, they took great care of us but I just felt like it was my job, you know, like I should support us. So I wanted to get back to school and start working again as soon as I could.

I couldn't start sports yet right away since I was still revalidating. I started again once more, about a year later. It only lasted half a year. Someone tackled me during a game and my knee gave out. Over and out with the idea of becoming a pro.

A little before that I found out that Grams was ill, she had cancer. Pops refused to tell me at first but I saw that something was wrong and I needed to know. After everything we'd been through, I just couldn't be lied to anymore. So he told me that she only had 6 months left to live.

He was devastated and I just couldn't help but feel guilty for being a burden to them, thinking that maybe the extra stress had caused her to get sicker faster.

To top it off, Jared started acting up after a while. He started talking back, made havoc at school. I got the feeling that he was especially mad at me. There wasn't anything I could do right for him anymore."

It pained Brennan to hear how much 'bad luck' they'd had, as if every time they thought they'd had the worst, something else happened.

She knew by now that Booth didn't have anything resembling a good childhood, but she never knew just how bad it was.

Guilt swarmed her as she thought about all the times he'd been there for her when she relived something of her past and the fact that she'd never returned the favour.

She swore to herself that it would be different now, she'd be by his side during this whole ordeal, no matter what.

"After the thing with my knee, I had another period of revalidation. I heard that I'd never become a pro, I saw Grams getting worse quickly and Pops was suffering so much. He wanted to stay by her side but he couldn't all the time because he had to take care of us, because he saw that Jared wasn't doing well. And I couldn't get through to him.

I felt like the most pathetic person on the planet. So one day, I …I took Pops' gun and I went to my room with it. I put it to my head and stupidly enough I started crying, which made me feel like even more of a loser. I thought they'd all be better off without me and I couldn't even do that right.

Pops heard the sounds of my cries and came to my room. He took the gun away from me and shook me by the shoulders. He made me promise to never do such thing again, he said that they all needed me, that I was strong, that one day I would have this amazing life which would make me glad that I never went through with it.

I was so ashamed after that, Bones, I felt so much shame. And he's right you know, even with all the shit that I've seen, I'm glad that he stopped me now…"

A new onslaught of tears rushed from her eyes after hearing that he had been on the verge of doing something as drastic as that because he didn't see any way out anymore, because he felt like all he did was make things worse for everyone while Brennan knew that they would've been so much worse off if it wasn't for him.

Now more than ever she was so grateful to have this man in her life, to have been his partner and friend for 6 years, knowing that if things had gone slightly different she wouldn't be sitting there with him today.

Her heart stopped a beat as the truth of it sank it. She'd have to thank Hank later for saving the one man that had never let her down, the one man who changed her life, who gained her trust and never betrayed it.

Because Hank was right. Booth was the strongest person she knew, even more so now than before and he was needed, very much for she for one wouldn't know what to do without him anymore.

"Me too, Booth. I'll never be more grateful for anything else."

He looked at her again then and she saw immediately how much her words meant to him, how much he desperately wanted to believe them.

She realised with a start that he still felt like that sometimes, like he wasn't doing any good for anyone and she swore that she would do everything in her power to get that thought out of his head. She would tell him every day how grateful she was if that's what it took.

For now she nudged him to continue. She knew how tough this was, the story needed to end soon. He needed relief.

"Grams died a few weeks after that, we were devastated. But Jared was determined to make our lives hell, I guess it was his way of dealing with everything but at the time it hurt so much to see my little brother act that way.

I finished school and joined the army, I wanted to do something useful and pay Pops back for all the care he'd given us.

When I came back, after everything I'd seen and been through, I needed something to occupy myself with so I started law school. I had to leave on another mission while I was still studying, but I tried to continue doing that and graduated after that. But that mission had screwed with my head and after graduation it all hit me bad. That's when I started gambling.

It would get worse after each mission and even more so after Rebecca refused to marry me. I wanted to do better for my kid, you know, but I just couldn't get out of it.

I succeeded once before, with the help of Director Cullen, he has been very good to me. Made me do the FBI program, got me a job. But after the thing with Rebecca, I relapsed. Feeling like a loser once again."

Brennan mentally cursed Rebecca for doing that to him. Rebecca had explained her once why she did what she had, but in this instant Temperance couldn't help but be angry at her for hurting this wonderful man even more.

"I loved my work with the FBI, but I couldn't help thinking sometimes that it was all useless, all the evil I'd seen, I couldn't make it stop.

And then I met you and you changed it all. You made me want to be a better person, you made me believe that there was a point in fighting for justice, that it wasn't a waste of time. You're the one who finally gave me enough strength and willpower to stop gambling, Bones and I'll never be able to thank you enough for that. You turned my world upside down, you're that reason Pops' was talking about, the reason why I'd once be happy that I didn't go through with killing myself. You and Parker, you're my whole world. And today I'm actually thankful, even though we still see so much evil on a daily basis, at the end of the day I can actually say that I'm glad to be here. So thank you, Bones."

She had tears in her eyes once more at hearing what she meant to him. His voice had taken on a loving, warm tone again, as she was used to.

"You have nothing to thank me for, Booth."

Booth shook his head vigorously. "I have to thank you for my life, Bones. I wouldn't be sitting here today like this if it weren't for you. I would've gambled everything away: my son, my job, everything that means something to me.

I wouldn't have the family that surround me today. We may not have the most normal of families, Bones, but I love them all nonetheless. You gave that to me. That and a reason and will to really live that I've never felt before."

She'd started crying during his speech. Not just the silent tears that'd been streaming down her face during the conversation, but actual sobs while tears clouded her vision.

"You did the same for me, Booth. My life was empty before I knew you, I had no one. Today we have this family that I'm so incredibly grateful for. I may have given you a reason to really live, but you gave me my life back as well, because before you all I had was work. So thank you as well."

He was crying to as he finally took her in his arms, something he'd been wanting to do all along.

They clung to each other like never before, their tears soaking the other's clothing, but they couldn't care less.

Tonight he'd let her in completely, as she'd done with him a few times before. Tonight he'd told her things that he'd never told anyone, as she'd done with him a few times before. Tonight something shifted and both of them were happy about it.

Things would continue to shift, but neither of them was scared anymore, because together they could get through anything. They were after all each other's reason to live.

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><p><strong>Pfuuh I believe this is the longest one shot I've written so far and definitely also the heaviest of them all. <strong>

**I just wish to say that I've never written a story like this one before, nor do I speak from experience here, so I apologise profusely if I portraited it feel free to let me know if I did. I would very much appreciate your feedback on this one. **

**That being said, I am very happy that I finfally posted something new again. I've been willing to write again for a while, but wasn't sure which idea I wanted to try to put to paper. I started this a while ago and finally found the willingness to finish it. I'm very glad I did, I hope you are too and I hope that it will get me back in writing mode a little more again.**

**So hopefully I'll be back with something soon. :)**

**Have a lovely day!**

**CherryXMe**


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